Got my pink pillows

Today I went for my pre operative appointment at the hospital, and I think that reality has set in.  The surgery is fast approaching, and I'm starting to get scared, really scared.  I've always been so brave in talking about this surgery, and now that it's approaching, I'm so nervous about it.   The nurse was really helpful in answering all my questions and she reassured me that I would be just fine.  The first few days after surgery are going to be tough.  She was honest in saying that this procedure is really painful, especially since they will putting in expanders at the time of surgery.  The expanders are a little akward and uncomfortable, but I will get use to them.  Every week i'll see the plastic surgeon and he will inject more saline into them to stretch the skin. Eventually the expanders will be removed and implants will be put in.   Apparently for the first few weeks after surgery, I won't be able to lift my arms over my head and i'll be forced to wear button up shirts.  PJ's here I come!   They gave me a couple of pink pillows today that sit under my arms to keep me comfortable.  The pillows are so soft!   They also gave me some bags to carry the drains in, so they don't hang down!  The drains will stay in for five days post surgery and then will be removed.  I've convinced myself that I need to be healed and ready to go a week after surgery, I don't do well staying indoors and not doing anything... plus, I hate soap operas and talk shows only tell us about the crazy people in the world.  Hopefully I'll be strong, and will heal quickly.  I finished work on Friday, so I'm off until the healing is done, and I'm ready to find work again.   Maybe while I'm off, i'll figure out what I really want to do with my life and where I want life to take me.  Either way, the surgery is just 2 weeks away, and I'm not backing down.  I've gotta be brave, strong and put trust in those people around me, friends and family who will help me to get through this!