Well, tomorrow is the big day. I think I can talk myself through all of this in my head and yet, still there is a part of me that is scared. I'm not really even sure what I'm scared about, but something in the pit of my stomach just isn't right. I'll wake up tomorrow, after surgery and that feeling will be gone. I can't wait for the thought of "I never have to worry about breast cancer again". I'm sure when I wake up from the surgery, i'll be thinking a whole lot different than that, more along the lines of wholy crap, i'm in pain! But I can fight this pain. I have made this decision in my life, to say to myself and others, we can do something about breast cancer. As scared as I am, I know that my mom will be with me and I will get through this.
I have a whole long list of things to do today for "Bevin." To be physically prepared, mentally prepared and emotionally prepared for this huge journey I'm about to take. And hey, the other side of the surgery won't be so bad. How many women get to choose their breast size?
As quoted by a dear friend of mine "Look forward not back, don't ever second guess why you are doing this"
I am strong, I am brave, I am ready.
Your mom would be so proud of you, Bevin. You are strong like she was. Pat.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. I am also a BRCA carrier, and will be having this surgery in the future. Thank you for sharing your brave story. Prayers for a speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Bevin! I'll be thinking about you, and wishing you a quick recovery.
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